Should the father be in the labour room during birth?

In my journey of experiencing this wonder of pregnancy, I have learned a lot of amazing things about culture and its accuracy. Our generation has lost belief in most cultural practices, we have been taught to question things and eventually throw them out the window.

Which is not really a bad idea in most cases, but it seems to work against us in some.

I have watched a lot of movies where women give birth with their partners on their bedside, you know, squeezing their hands and all. I find it really cute and it’s just so heart warming. “I want my partner to be there on the day as well,” I thought.

My mother once warned me about having the baby’s father in the labour room, especially if it is going to be natural birth. She told me the damage it does to a man’s brain and perspective are hardly reversible, and I took it upon myself to do further research on the matter.

I have since spoken to a couple of people about this, and they have confirmed it to be real. Apparently once a man witnesses giving birth, he can’t “unsee” it. One source told me she knows of a couple who have gone through divorce, because the man could not look at his wife in the same way.

Actually, I found out about four marriages which have collapsed because the men had seen what they were not supposed to have seen, according to black culture.

However, it must be noted that my research is one-sided. I still see documentaries of white people having their partners in that room and it resulting to nothing, they even take videos, how nice. I guess it’s one of those things one can’t explain.

I have reached a conclusion that I will not allow that man in the labour room, he will come in after the work is done. It’s for my good, I guess. But the white girl in me still insists that just as much as parenting is for two people, so should be everything else that involves the child.

I had a conversation with a woman in church one day, regarding my pregnancy. I told her how tired I am of the sleepless nights, the swollen feet, the heartburn and everything that comes with it. I told her how much I wished I could share all of these with the father at times.

She looked at me, smiled and said, ”that’s the beauty of this whole journey. You get to go through all of the sweet, difficult moments. You learn to endure the pain that comes with it. But at the end of the day, that is what sets you apart as a woman.

We say women are stronger because of the things they go through and their ability to make it look simple. What sets us apart is the ability to go through so much pain and somehow manage to find pleasure in it. You will feel sentiments when you hold your baby in your arms, all your struggle will amount to nothing”.

I cried… I’m not too sure if it was the hormones, but I did, anyway.

 

Also read: BLOG: Pregnancy is a sign of trust from God

  AUTHOR
Sesane Mabuza
Journalist

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